My first love, first illusion and first lack of love
My first love, first illusion and first lack of love
When I
entered my first year of high school, I did not think about anything except
studying and getting good grades ... but when I got to high school, my three
friends already had their "love stories", that is, each one had
already experienced something romantic and They were in love ... but ... I did
not know what to answer to that.
A couple of
months went by and when I entered the classroom I felt a hug that came from
behind, it was one of the best feelings I will ever forget ... it was a child
who hugged me from behind, I do not know why and I do not know why he kept me
Trapped in her arms for a couple of minutes, more classmates began to enter and
that beautiful feeling gradually dispersed. From that day I no longer saw
him as a companion, I saw him as something different ... since I had never
experienced anything like that.
Once during
a recitation I had I forgot a part of what I had to say and it was then that he
disguised so that the teacher does not see him, he told me what was going on,
this was repeated a few times during oral lessons, etc.
He would
sometimes "play" with his friends, throw some pieces of eraser or
pencils, while I was drawing in my notebook a pencil hit my head and he came to
me a little hurried and apologized very much, I just I stood still and he made
my head meet his chest, he gave me a kiss where I hit and he rubbed my head, I
always thought it was something exaggerated that he did that, but ... I blushed
as never in that instant! !
After that,
every time our eyes collided I blushed and looked elsewhere.
One day in technical drawing class he had forgotten to take cardboard and went to me and said: Can you give me a card? I blushed and said I did not have it, because I really did not have anything but one for me. He answers: Do not tell me you gave a card to another boy that is not me, right? I noticed that it got a little red. From there he also began to blush ...
One day in technical drawing class he had forgotten to take cardboard and went to me and said: Can you give me a card? I blushed and said I did not have it, because I really did not have anything but one for me. He answers: Do not tell me you gave a card to another boy that is not me, right? I noticed that it got a little red. From there he also began to blush ...
Again during
a work in class I saw that it was coming towards me, I suppose to ask me to
explain something ... but I looked at it and it was red, I looked again and it
turned around and it was ...
Time after
we stopped having "romantic events" and more, one day I saw him with
a girl from another parallel in the classroom, how empty I felt ... During the
exams something very personal happened to me that I will not mention, and I
went running to the toilets and I started to cry, I cried for three hours ...
my friends consoled me but I prevented them from entering the bathroom, because
I did not want to see anyone ...
The rumor of
what had happened spread throughout the school and I felt very sad ... I had a
very low self-esteem at that moment ... so low that I thought nothing mattered
and I felt so sad because he had moved far away from me ... and then I made the
worst decision I could have chosen, DECLARE ME.
I'm not
saying it's bad that I declared, the bad were the circumstances, after I had
passed something so terrible I told him on Facebook ... He did not answer
anything and left me in fifteen minutes, I sent a message to a friend I was a
good friend of him and she told me that she told her about my statement, she
sent me the chat they had and they had messages from him saying: JAJAJAJA
POBREEE and she had placed it in capital letters.
At that time
my self-esteem came so low that I had thoughts and suicidal attempts, but
hopefully I got over it ...
I know he
does not deserve my cry, but what can I say ... I still like it ... He has a I
do not know what, what do I know ... It was my first love and the last one,
because after that I hate children, I am very closed with the children ... but
I will never forget it, we live many more things, I think I liked it ... only
after what happened to me I stopped liking ... so I guess it was my fault, I no
longer trust in love but he never I will stop loving him.
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