Hi. My name is S. Jannette, I'm from Puerto Rico and this is my story. Since I can remember, I do not remember any man impressing me as much as the boy from that Gallery Night did. He was the typical bad guy, rebellious, with his long hair and impressive eyes, but who you know is out of your reach; or so I thought.

Three years later, to be exact the day my eighteenth birthday, he wrote me via "Facebook". I was "patidifusa", I could not believe it. However, as expected, I answered the message. Thus began a short conversation in which he gave me his telephone number. I kept his phone number and in two or three days I had not written him. It has always been difficult for me to start a conversation with one person and more when, within my nerves, I thought that he would get bored with me. As my interest in meeting that man who had impressed me surpassed all this, I decided to leave my fears and write.

With the passing of time began a great friendship that little by little became love. Our first date was two months after our formal conversation. We went to eat chicken wings with french fries and pizza. We had a nice moment. After that we went around the stores several times until he received a message from his father asking him to bring him food. He stopped to buy what his father had asked for and took me to his house.

When we arrived we gave him the food and we sat down to watch television. I felt strange in a foreign place, but he continued to bother me until I agreed to show him his room. In the privacy of his room he showed me his books, his memories of when he was in high school and several other things.
We were sitting on the edge of his bed and I felt the desire to steal a kiss from him. I got up from the bed and my mind ran at the speed of light as something said to me: do not do it, but my heart was stronger than my mind and I sat on her lap and kissed her. It was a passionate kiss in which our languages ​​danced a tango. During that long kiss he started to get excited and he lifted me up in the air, he laid me on the bed and he began to kiss me and to touch me.

No man had ever made me feel that way, but I stopped him because I did not want to go any further on the first date, after all this man interested me for more than one night.

That kiss marked the beginning of a long relationship. We were the one for the other. He said that I was his Batgirl, he was my Robin, my Bakon, my first love.
As nothing is perfect, situations began to emerge. My mother interposed in our relationship because she did not like the idea of ​​her daughter dating a man three years older than her and with long hair, but she ended up accepting it after a bad decision on my part.

After that he started coming to my house more often. My brothers adored him and I felt madly in love with my "perfect man". This man was so perfect that it made me feel that something was not right. Since I was little I have loaded with five medical conditions; one of them is epilepsy. In order to control my seizures I have to take a medication that causes chemical imbalances in my body and reflect in my anxiety, and I usually end up fighting with everyone around me. My family is used to my mood swings and they have learned to love me like this and to deal with the situation that is out of our hands. For him it was something new; I knew I was hurting him, hurting him with my courage, but I did not know how to control the uncontrollable.

One day I decided to read a self-help book: The Challenge of Love, I had seen it in a Christian movie and decided for forty days to do what the book told me, but everything went wrong. He did not see my effort, he did not care and he left me. I asked him to let me finish the book, I wanted to complete the twelve days I had left, but he had already made his decision and he made me see the day he collected his things.

This has been the second strongest blow I have received from a person. The first came from my father; He left me when he learned that I was sick, he told me in a clear and direct way.

When I saw this new man of my dreams, in whom I put my trust, getting off the car with his hair cut my soul broke. My family wanted him to cut it, but I told him that if he cut it our relationship would end. That moment, that look of bewilderment I still have it recorded. He thought that by cutting his hair, I would drastically stop loving him, but it was not like that. The pain continues in my heart like a recent wound.

I tried to communicate with him after that day, but he deleted me from his Facebook account. He took me out of his life completely, as if nothing had happened between us.

It's been three months and I almost do not leave my house. He always smiled before the others, but when I reach the solitude of my room, that smile fades away and tears begin, pain begins, memories and nightmares begin. I have stopped eating, I have lost a lot of weight, and my hair has started to fall. I have asked God to help me recover what I lost, to give me a new opportunity to do things well and his answer was: in life everything comes back.
I know I failed him, I know I hurt him for not knowing how to control my anxiety disorders, I know I realized later, but I'm a human being, I'm a person who makes mistakes. He taught me to love, but he did not teach me to forget and let go. I'm dying to kiss him, to tell him to forgive this stubborn woman, but it's too late and he does not want to forgive me.

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